New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
