Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
