Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
