Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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