goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
