U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ugly people sure do ruin things
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
