Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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