Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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