In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
