Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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