I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
