i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
