Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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