He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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