wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
