I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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