so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
