weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
