so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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