ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
