youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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