Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
