Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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