i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
