Already got asked if we're dating
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
