Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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