How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
