You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
