If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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