Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize