dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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