There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
