His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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