You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
