so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
