if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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