I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
