Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
