i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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