But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
