would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
