I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
