so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
handjob tips. give me some.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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