"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
