Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
