do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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