He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize