I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize