Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
