I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize