i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
