Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
