We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
