Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

I can tuck mytits in my pants

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

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(586): View more from Michigan

you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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(773): View more from Illinois

I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

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(315): View more from New York

i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.

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(941): View more from Florida

sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.

(615): View more from Tennessee

My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.

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