i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
