i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize