That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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