There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
