look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The air was thick with penises
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
