I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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