My brain says no but my pants say off.
two words: eviction party
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize