ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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