After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
