Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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