sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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