I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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