Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
