So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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